Wealth Management

Stop wasting money at the horse races, casinos, and the lottery. The financial step you have been missing!

A Friend in Need (1903) Cassius Marcellus Coolidge

Love the rush of gambling but don’t want to leave the comfort of home? No, not online gambling. There’s a better way to get that hit of adrenaline!

A caution to all though, this is not a beginners’ level tip here. But when you have financial organization and foresight like I do, it’s really quite simple:

*Set all your bills up on autopay

*Never learn/forget the withdrawal dates

*and roll the dice!

Every day is a day at Cesar’s Palace with this hot tip! Will you make it ’til payday or will you wake up to a negative balance? Only time will tell! Stay lucky!

Estate Planning Planning

I promise Choosing the Hill You Will Die On is almost done and will be posted soon. I have to say it is something of a magnum opus, and I have been cracking myself up with my own jokes all weekend.

Until Then and Most Respectfully,

Bit Bot

Can I Listen to Journey?

Dear Bitcoin BMI,

I like your idea of working out in my garage. Can I listen to Journey while I work out though? I don’t like Nazareth. What about any of Steve Perry’s later canon? Thanks,

Peter H

Dear Peter H,      


Can you listen to Journey? Sighs. I don’t know man. But the question really should you? 

There are few things I loathe more than Steve Perry - in fact, the only other person who comes to mind with such a nauseating visceral lurch is Matthew McConaughey.I suspect you know this already Peter, which is why you are asking. 
But I will take the bait. 
No. No. You are not allowed to listen to any Steve Perry. Those aren’t the people we are all trying so hard to be.

It’s never too late for now,                                           

Bitcoin Bot
P.S. while I was searching for exercise stills from the 80s to potentially use here I read an article of celebrity aerobic videos from the 80s and 90s. Did you know that both Angela Lansbury AND Estelle Getty each made a VHS feature? You should see if you can find one of those. That will solve all your troubles.    

P.S.S.  And no Rush either.

P.S.S.S.


What a gem.

You and Your Guts

or 61 Days Until Coachella!

I assume you have all been wisely hibernating these winter months away. Smart choice! So have I. Those extra pounds you put on from stuffing yourself full of Halloween candy served you well! But now it’s time to get back on track and start thinking about your beach body!

But wait! Before you dust off that old Nautilus in the garage and crank up the Nazareth, I want to make sure you know about you and your gut health!

If you even sort of pay attention to all those YouTube commercials, you know there are many, many experts out there on how you and your parasites may or may not be affecting your health. But allow me to throw my hat in the ring, yes?

If this all bums you out, don’t worry. We will all be dead soon.

Stay Tuned for tomorrow’s post:

Cooking and Caring for Your Parasites

References

Because science.

-Bridgette, Instatritionist*

*Please note Bridgette holds no relevant authority or substantive scientific education beyond the publishing wisdom of Conde Naste, but damn, she looks hot holding a smoothie, right?? Please continue to send her your money.

Working Out in Jean Shorts

Shape Your Body like it is 1992 and Radu is your personal trainer. You are wearing jean shorts. He is wearing windpants. No tradesies.

No excuses. Everyone has ten minutes.