The Motherload

Continue to follow this blog at http://www.scopeandhorror.com

Scope & Horror and Your Bitcoin BMI merging

Hello! As you can probably see, this page is kind of a mess right now as I attempt to mash these blogs together (decided to throw my cartoons in there too for good measure). The scope & horror will now also encompass self-help!

Thanks for your patience whilst I reorganize

For Now,

tell em large marge sent ya

Vacation’s All I Ever Wanted

This week I will be writing to you from the chlorinated waters of Naples, Florida, and I will get this quiz published.

My father would advise me not to publicize this lest I open the door for would-be robbers. Let me just put it out there, I own literally nothing of value (here- I do of course have my off shore accounts), and all my house has in it is cats. So plan accordingly.

xoxo

On Chaos

The inside of my head is chaotic, messy place. For example, for almost zero reason, I have spent the last ten months learning Spanish and Japanese. I have two blogs here on wordpress, this one and scopeandhorror.com and have not figured out a way to bring them together in one place cohesively (taking suggestions). I am going to move this URL to direct to the both blogs to scopeandhorror.com so if you would like to keep subscribing (and I very much hope you do), please sign up there too, pretty pleasest?

I know I keep saying this, but the Bitcoin BMI quiz I am working on but is not done is objectively amazing, and it is so close to ready, but also I have a fulltime job and another one, and two kids.

xoxo

Wealth Management

Stop wasting money at the horse races, casinos, and the lottery. The financial step you have been missing!

A Friend in Need (1903) Cassius Marcellus Coolidge

Love the rush of gambling but don’t want to leave the comfort of home? No, not online gambling. There’s a better way to get that hit of adrenaline!

A caution to all though, this is not a beginners’ level tip here. But when you have financial organization and foresight like I do, it’s really quite simple:

*Set all your bills up on autopay

*Never learn/forget the withdrawal dates

*and roll the dice!

Every day is a day at Cesar’s Palace with this hot tip! Will you make it ’til payday or will you wake up to a negative balance? Only time will tell! Stay lucky!

Estate Planning Planning

I promise Choosing the Hill You Will Die On is almost done and will be posted soon. I have to say it is something of a magnum opus, and I have been cracking myself up with my own jokes all weekend.

Until Then and Most Respectfully,

Bit Bot

Can I Listen to Journey?

Dear Bitcoin BMI,

I like your idea of working out in my garage. Can I listen to Journey while I work out though? I don’t like Nazareth. What about any of Steve Perry’s later canon? Thanks,

Peter H

Dear Peter H,      


Can you listen to Journey? Sighs. I don’t know man. But the question really should you? 

There are few things I loathe more than Steve Perry - in fact, the only other person who comes to mind with such a nauseating visceral lurch is Matthew McConaughey.I suspect you know this already Peter, which is why you are asking. 
But I will take the bait. 
No. No. You are not allowed to listen to any Steve Perry. Those aren’t the people we are all trying so hard to be.

It’s never too late for now,                                           

Bitcoin Bot
P.S. while I was searching for exercise stills from the 80s to potentially use here I read an article of celebrity aerobic videos from the 80s and 90s. Did you know that both Angela Lansbury AND Estelle Getty each made a VHS feature? You should see if you can find one of those. That will solve all your troubles.    

P.S.S.  And no Rush either.

P.S.S.S.


What a gem.

Feeding Your Parasites

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.
Rule 1: Hydrate
Slimming Hydration Recipe

Prep time: minimal, though it will need a few days to steep so plan accordingly
Cost: $$ key components can already be found in your bathroom cabinet, but pick up some Grade A dark maple syrup and a bag of organic lemons the next time you are at the store.
Results? oh, yes! 

Fill a tall glass full of sparkling, refreshing water and dip your toothbrush in it. Place it on your nightstand and let sit for 2-3 days.

After a few days, add in 4 tablespoons of maple syrup. If there's one thing I've read about the ecosystem living inside you is that these mf'ers love sugar!

By day five, your drink should be brimming with disgusting, healthy bacteria. Place in some freshly squeezed lemon juice. Gulp it down quickly to feed your little stomach monsters, those guys are hungry!

You’ll thank me later.

Bottoms up!

PS this is not real, do not actually try this okay?